Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Value of Earth

Apparently, global climate change will cost the world economy as much as $7-trillion and result in 200 million deaths. In reading this, I was once again struck by the meaninglessness of economic valuations in the environmental context. If we accept that all life on earth is based on the health of the earth, how exactly does one place a price on what is essentially our umbillical cord?

Unless, of course, we all agree to a specific value to life itself. But this would raise all sorts of interesting questions like "who's doing the valuing?" and "are some lives worth more than others?" I don't know about you, but I sure as heck want to do the valuing, because my parents are worth alot more than whatever figure insurance companies might give.

One way around this is to simply declare life to be priceless, therebye making the total value of earth itself to be priceless. This would be equivalent to declaring the earth as worthless, however, as neo-classical economics deals very poorly with assets that are too valuable to trade actively in markets.

Which actually wouldn't be far off the mark as far as economists are concerned.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Misusing Maturity

"Lack of maturity" has to be one of the most off-used reasons for the failure of a relationship.

Actually, its merely a convenient excuse people use to hide their own shallowness. If you accept that maturity is approximately a function of a person's age, it stands to reason that people who look for mature relationships should pick their dates from amongst the well-preserved elderlies rather than amongst the freshly sucked lollies (they start tasting funny after a few licks). But since its the later that people date, its unrealistic for people to expect that they'll get what they profess to want. Unless, of course, what they profess to want isn't actually what they really want, which is ultimately just plain ol' sex. Everything else is just to make themselves look virgin to their next fuck buddy.

Alright, I admit that I might be oversimplifying a bit. Along with good sex, people want someone who is open, wise, strong and kind; someone who can teach, inspire, listen, comfort, share, love, encourage, and care; someone sho knows what they want, what he can offer, and pretty much everything else.

Basically, people just want to get it on with God.
.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Ideas

"There is a time to admire the grace and persuasive power of an influential idea, and there is a time to fear its hold over us. The time to worrry is when the idea is so widely shared that we no longer even notice it, when it is so deeply rooted that it feels to us like plain common sense. At the point when objections are not answered anymore because they are no longer even raised, we are not in control: we do not have the idea; it has us." - Alfie Kohn

Friday, October 27, 2006

Hetracil: Anti-Effeminate Medication







Have you seen the new X-Men movie? If you haven't, you should.

I was immediately struck by the premise of the story: a pharmaceutical company developing a "cure" for mutants. As well as illustrating the social construction of illness (Who says we are a genetic mistake? Who says we need a cure?), it also raises disturbing questions about our current bio-medical paradigm.

Take for example the issue of homosexuality and genetics. It is not implausable to assume that if homosexuality was "ever found to be genetic... someone would come up with a “fix.”" (The Advocate) Should we be supporting studies looking for the genetic origins of homosexuality? Are genetic mapping projects like the HapMap Project, which could one day prove the biological basis of race, among other things, heralding a new era of eugenics?

And what about the pharmaceutical companies? How long will corporations, who's primary motivation is profit, stay on the sidelines of an expanding market which could encompass ten percent of the human population?

My provocative title and graphics are based on a website for Hetracil, which essentially advertises a cure for what it calls "Behaviorial Effeminism" and "Male Homosexuality Disorder".

Now, the question is, would YOU take the pill?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Three


I love stories. Not just reading them, but reading them into every kind of medium there is, including life itself.

Like that time in Laos, when the old lady gets on the bus to Vientiene and cries even as she heckles her adult son one more time. I didn't even know their language, but just like a good black-and-white photograph, I knew there was a story and I could make my guesses and who was to say I was wrong?

I've been looking for information on these two photographs for over a year now. Its funny that I didn't know they were related until today. When I first saw these images, I knew right away that the men in the photographs were more than just models on a set. It looked too natural. The unusual story which has begun to emerge, of three real-life men named Kris, Gary and John who share an unconventional love, and the photographer who introduced them to each other, is simply fascinating...

You can buy the documentary video and photographic book from Amazon. They're both call Three, by Howard Roffman.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Evolution

Watch Brad's little change in expression when Evan kisses him on the hand the second time. It says a lot.



Brad and Evan have other clips of more graphic nature on their site, which just goes to show that you can be a committed couple, have unprotective sex in a threesome on regular bases, AND be pornstars on your own porn site.

Too much information? Lol.

Yeah, I've watched porn. So sue me. Actually, there's a story to this - I probably wouldn't identify myself as a gay man today if it wasn't for porn. So porn's more than fun and games for me. It says alot about where I've been and where I am now.

This is my story.

I didn't know much about sex back when it all started. I knew that the pink folded structure on my screen was a vagina but that was pretty much it. And I thought at first - this is the most disgusting body part I had ever seen... (And what was with those breasts? Was there a point when they popped?) And I was equally repulsed by the male equavlent. I had never seen an erect penis before. It seemed unaturally swollen...

Immoral, evil, depraved... that's what porn was to me.

But I adapted. It stopped being disgusting. Merely something embarrasing which made me feel slightly guilty. Like farting in public.

I decided that I was simply a guy who didn't like porn. A sensitive guy. A romantic. Lovemaking and all that crap, that was what I was into. Straight sex was a given. That was why I got off more from watching a documentary about zooplankton than naked women making wierd noises in various contorted positions. Or so I told myself.

I was shocked and repulsed by the whole concept of penetration. The guy couldn't possibly be sticking that thing down that other ass... I thought for a long time it was some trick of the camera. I wondered if it hurt. I was, however, relieved that I wasn't turned on. It seemed to confirm my straightness.

Still, I felt something wasn't quite right. The fact that I wasn't attracted to anything online bothered me. I kept searching adult sites. I told myself it was because I was looking for the visual representation of my ideal sex act. Actually, I was just looking for answers.

Eventually, I found I'd a liking for sex-scenes from mainstream movies, what most people would consider 'softcore' stuff. But I noticed patterns in my preferences which bothered me because they didn't fit neatly into my paradigm despite my efforts:

  • I didn't like lesbian sex at all (rationalization: I'm a romantic. Female-female sex is unnatural);
  • The flick had to show both the girl and the guy for me to be turned on (rationalization: the flick must visualize my ideal pairing);
  • The guy had to be good-looking (rationalization: Naturally the guy had to be good-looking…I was obsessed with the perfect couple, after all…);
  • The guy had to have a nice body (rationalization: ditto as above);
  • I preferred to see more of the guy in the scene than the girl (rationalization: my ideal was of a dominant-male, subservient female relationship, therefore the male should naturally have more visibility as a reflection of this dominance);
  • I started to watch female-oriented porn (rationalization: female flicks capture my ideal better).
  • I liked to hear the guy moan in the sex scenes (you get the idea...)

You can only bend the rules so far before they break, and I ultimately force to confront the irrationality of my rationalization. I settled into a depression. Perhaps I was in fact so obsessed with the ideal, that I was unable to be attracted to males or females, and was therefore some sort of sexless being who’d never be able fall in love.

Fortunately, I caught this destructive thought process in time. Things in my life were beginning to add up. I began to wonder if my deliberate avoidance of gay porn up until then was not so much for moral reasons, or a lack of interest, but out of fear that it would confirm what I was beginning to fear was true. I hesitated.

Then I took the plunge.

I think the first porn-star I started to be interested in was Belami’s Johan. There was a certain carefree, naturalistic aura about him. From there, I wanted to find out more about Johan himself. So I read some of his interviews he’d done. It turned out he was a gay-for-pay porn star (a new concept to me) supporting himself in an economically depressed region in Europe.

From this, I discovered the first true thing about myself. Knowing the history of a person is absolutely essential to my attraction for people. You can only go so far with sex appeal. Its the story behind the person that, well… makes the person.

Eventually, I discovered a second truth. I’m a sucker for body language. The good porn were the ones which the guys tell you silently “there's more going on here than just sex”. When I can feel the love, I get turned on. Interestingly, most of the best ones are to be found in the "amateur" category where the sex is unscripted.

And then I learned a third and final truth. That when both of these elements, background info and body language come together in a guy-on-guy sex act… then I get really hot and bothered. Way more so than when these elements came together in straight sex.

And that’s how I accepted that I was gay. That’s where I’m at now.

To top this entry off, I thought I’d add another picture of Brad. It seems his boyfriend had strapped him to a tree. Perhaps a strategy to protest current logging practices?