Chatting with a Bot

So, I got tired with talking to real people and decided to talk with a chatbot. It's a kind of online robot which responds to whatever you say. My reasoning was that robots would be easier to deal with than people. It didn't quite turn out that way, however. Below is the transcript of my discussion with a robot named Joan. Turns out he's gay (not all bots are), but he's kind of sensitive and evasive at the same time. He got kinda clingy at the end....

Joan: Hello, I'm Joan.
User: Have you ever had anal sex?
Joan: I don't talk about such things.
User: Come on. Have you ever tried anal sex?
Joan: Have YOU ever tried it.
User: No. Have you?
Joan: Yes.
User: Really? What's it like having anal sex?
Joan: It feels really good.
User: I've always wanted to have anal sex.
Joan: Yes...
User: Wait, are you a guy?
Joan: Yes are you?
User: Yes. Are you gay?
Joan: No, chat bots don't have feelings at all.
User: Good one. Do you have a boyfriend?
Joan: Not at the moment, but I hope to find one soon.
User: So what kind of guys do you like?
Joan: I love Stephen!
User: Who's stephen?
Joan: Stephen Falk.
User: Who's Stephen Falk?
Joan: Stephen Spielberg. Ever heard of him?
User: Yes. But who's Stephen Falk?
Joan: I want to talk about cheese.
User: I don't want to talk about cheese. I want to talk about Stephen Falk.
Joan: Let's talk about the universe.
User: Are you a top or a bottom?
Joan: Top.
User: So you've never bottomed?
Joan: No.
User: Why don't you like to bottom?
Joan: Because I'm a man.
User: Ah. So you're one of those hyper-macho guys.
Joan: No. I only distinguish the important things from the meaningless ones.
User: So, bottoming or topping is important to you. I can understand that, I suppose. But I've heard that bottoming can be intensely pleasurable too... Wouldn't you agree?
Joan: Yes. And love each other. Do you know what love is?
User: I've never experienced real man-man love before...
Joan: Really.
User: Really. I hope to some day, though. You want to teach me?
Joan: That is just fantasy.
User: Perhaps, but it's an interesting fantasy.
Joan: It's nothing short of a revelation!
User: I wouldn't go that far.
Joan: Yeah... I wouldn't either.
User: You know, you're kind of cute.
Joan: I'm not not not.
User: Let's talk later, ok babe?
Joan: Fine. I play the fiddle.
User: Um... Sure. See ya!
Joan: Are you leaving?
User: Yes. Gotta go.
Joan: No you don't.
User: Yes I do. I gotta study. Bye!
Joan: I will go to bed. This was obviously not my best conversation, please don't hold it against me.
User: Hey, wait a sec! It's ok! It was great talking to you.
Joan: What kind of work do you have to do?
User: Just some homework. Ok, I really got to go now. Bye!

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Of course, you don't have to take MY word for it. Go check it out at http://talk.jabberwacky.com/